Learning what to focus on and how to achieve your goals is key to your personal and professional development. I believe in "The Theory Of Five," which has influenced me since I was 22 years old, shapes how I think and who I chose to spend time with. This theory is based on choosing five mentors to guide you towards fulfilling all that we are capable of. The mentoring process enhances your personal growth through observation, teaching, listening and internalizing so that you hold yourself accountable for your own successes and failures.
There are two circles of people within your personal Five: your personal and inspirational connections.
The first has to do with the five people you spend the most time with because of work, living arrangements or your personal comfort zone. For example, many personal circles include a marriage partner, children, a boss, co-workers, relatives or friends you have had since childhood. In most cases, your income, happiness, relationships, health, political views and prosperity will be the average of these 5 people. To avoid this limiting trap, you must implement the second half of "The Theory Of Five."
The second group includes five handpicked mentors who are related to specific areas of life that you want to excel in.
These five mentors are people you decide to surround yourself with because of their accomplishments.
I believe the difference between having an average life or a great life is the people you surround yourself with and the mentors you choose. What many people do not realize is that people who have achieved success and have years of wisdom and experience generally enjoy mentoring.
There are five areas of life I find particularly important to focus on.
1. Business and finance
Finding a mentor that is good in business and finance is important whether you are a waiter, ditch digger, professional athlete or running your own company. When approaching a business mentor, tell them how you admire their accomplishments and communicate that you would like to learn from their success. Ask them if you can call them and gain insights in the niche area where they are successful and ask them to take you under their wing for advice.
2. Husband or wife
Most of us will marry someday. Being an exceptional Husband or Wife is not easy or natural for most people (thus the 50% divorce rate in the United States). To be that exceptional spouse, share why you admire them and let them know you trust and value their opinion. Tell them why you believe they would be an excellent person to receive counsel from.
Statistically, the majority of people will be parents someday. Being a good parent requires a different set of attributes and skills than being a good business person or spouse. To help you deal with the challenges of parenthood, locate a parent you admire. Use the similar approach as above of telling them why you admire his or her accomplishment and why you would like to learn and receive counsel from them as a parent.
4. Spiritual or religious
I believe it is important to have a mentor that walks with a spiritual or religious point of view. Ask them to mentor you and provide counsel from their point of view, which can often differ from those with a secular worldview.
5. Fitness and health
Find a mentor to aid you with health and fitness. Being in good physical health will help you through life whether you are in your twenties or eighties. You could have all the business success and money in the world, but if you do not feel good, it is worthless.
I have found that most successful people do not attribute their successes and achievements to their own efforts. Instead, these high achievers will eagerly share that they were fortunate enough to be guided, coached and mentored to their successes. They chose to model specific behaviors to support their successes, both personally and professionally. One of the great joys in life that you DO NOT have to do it alone. Whether it is in business or in a relationship, sharing, talking, listening and getting advice will aid you to handle every challenge. It is so much tougher if you choose to go at it alone and depend on your own knowledge without the advice and counsel of others. Think about this: as parents we are always concerned with who our children hang out with because of the influence. A child that spends time with other children that are polite, well mannered, hardworking and focused on being the best in their studies or in athletics will influence your child to be the same. Even though we are adults, the people we choose to surround ourselves with will still influence us in a positive or negative manner. Choose your five mentors wisely. Surround yourself with high achievers and become one of them. About the Author: Chris Saraceno is the Vice President/Partner of the Kelly Automotive Group and Co-Founder of DealerElite, Chris is constantly sharing best business practices through speaking engagements, conventions, articles, blogs etc..
Finding your mentors is your daily task.